2 Stars and a Wish

Book Review

I believe that the mental illness was depicted fairly accurately, in terms of what I know about Schizophrenia. That being said this novel wanted to depict schizophrenia in a lighter manner; through my understanding of schizophrenia I know that there is an extremely intense side to this mental illness that can make daily life very difficult. The more intense side of schizophrenia was not depicted throughout this novel, and the aspects that were intense were written in a way that was more emotionally and sensitively charged. The novel was written by the author at age 11, and then later finalized at age 15, which gives it a slightly juvenile interpretation. For the intended age demographic of the novel I believe the mental illness was accurately depicted, and depicted quite well for such a young author. The struggles with delusions, hallucinations, an intense reality, on top of all the struggles that come with navigating through the teenage years was written well by the author. What the main character went through on a daily basis was presented in a way that really allowed the reader to feel like you were apart of her journey. “Made You Up” was written with such genuine conviction that it felt as though Alex was your friend, and you were learning about how life was for her living with schizophrenia. The reader got an empathetic sense of this mental illness, and was able to see the journey as something that started in a young child, and continued through her teenage years. Francesca Zappia was able to brilliantly develop the characters. As the reader I was able to get a real sense of many traits of all the different characters in the novel. There were story lines within story lines, and the characters did not fail to deliver. The connection between Alex and her family was depicted very well, the reader was able to relate to the dynamic relations of the family, and feel a sense of togetherness as well as the struggle the family went through. The character dynamics between Alex and her friends was just as developed as that between Alex and her family. The reader was able to connect with the friendships Alex was making between herself and people at her school. You were able to see a support system that was developing, and really enjoy the characters that were supplying support- these friendships were bringing me so much joy for Alex. For myself, when I read a novel it is very important for me to connect with the characters, and with the way “Made You Up” was written that connection was easy.
I believe that the author created an electric story line, within a story line, there were many things that happened to Alex on her journey through the teenage years, and also on her journey through schizophrenia. Francesca was able to keep the reader intrigued and wanting to continue reading to find out what was going to happen next. Francesca also told the story in a very emotionally charged way, this allowed the reader to connect deeply with the life of Alex, and what she went through on a daily basis. The support of her friend circle, and how much they cared for Alex was really a beautiful aspect of the story. One thing I wish the author would have dove into a bit more was the reality of the mental illness. I do not know the extent of the research the author did before writing the novel, I have discovered no mention of her being surrounded by someone with this mental illness in her life, which leaves me with a lack of deep understanding. That being said for the age the author started and finished the novel, it was well written within her realm of understanding. All in all it is hard for me to truly pick something I wish the author did better, I thought the book was really well written, and gave me a sense of the mental illness schizophrenia.

About the author…

After finishing “Made You Up” written by Francesca Zappia, I was interested in knowing more about her. I wondered… did she suffer from Schizophrenia? Or did a family member or friend? I was interested in why she chose to write about it, and how she was able to do it in a way that was educational, interesting, and empathetic. I did some research and I did not find too much, but what I did find was pretty inspiring. The novel “Made You Up,” was one she started in grade 5, and finished in high school. Through reading the novel I found that it was written in a way that really connected to someone in high school, and somone with a mental illness. This novel is one that can be really inspiring to anyone suffering from a mental illness, or who struggled through high school. Francesca used humour, emotion, love, family dynamics in a way that kept the reader wanting more and more. I have posted a clip from her website where she addresses a fellow fan about mental illness; and how her own struggles with mental illness is one of the reasons her novels are so genuine. She writes above that her anxiety transcended into her characters and was presented through her characters being scared of their own minds. This concept was something that she related to, and she describes as the most terrifying thing in her whole life. The author gives a bit of a shout out to medication, which is something that can work for many people struggling with mental illness. The road to recovery for someone that struggles with mental illness can be difficult, and ongoing- for the author she describes her writing as being therapeutic, and medication to be something that helps her. I was glad when I stumble upon her website that the author was so vulnerable in communicating with the fans. This is something that allows me to connect to the novel even more, and understand the place the author comes from. Francesca has a couple other novels out, and it looks like she is working on more- which is super exciting because now I am a fan! I really enjoyed reading the novel “Made You Up,” learning more in terms of mental illness, and schizophrenia.

A Love Story <3

Throughout the novel the love story of the main character Alex, and her crush Miles is depicted so sweetly! This aspect of the story adds an emotional dynamic that really allows you to connect with both characters in a sensitive way. I find in the back of my mind, there was a past part of me that bought into certian aspects of the stigma evolving around schizophrenia. I am not happy to admit this, but before entering this program, I feel that part of me thought it would be very difficult for someone with schizophrenia to be in a serious relationship…. I saw schizophrenia as something that was almost debilitating, and was something that would place you under constant care… but through reading this novel, aspects we have discussed in class, and educational videos I have watched I now see that is not always the case. Through the journey the novel takes the reader on, I find myself so proud of Alex, so happy for her and what she is able to accomplish. Through the novel the building of the love story between Alex and Miles allows you to see someone with schizophrenia falling in love in a really passionate way. The love story between Alex and Miles, really shows how important support is in terms of the recovery proccess. I have now finished my novel, and in the end Alex’s does go into a mental health facility for a short time. During her time at the facility what gets her through, is her love for Miles. Their relationship and friendship is something that keeps her strong, and gives her courage in the struggles she is facing…

Chapter Forty-nine

I have reached an extremely emotional, part in my novel “Made you up,” where Alex is informed by two close friends that her sister is not real. Alex, Miles, and their friend Tucker set out on an excursion, Alex hallucinates her sister Charlie snuck along for the ride. It is as this point, Miles and Tucker ever so gently break it to Alex that her sister Charlie is a hallucinatation. This sends Alex on an intense spiral of her reality, and leaves her feeling very confused, and betrayed by her parents. As I am reading this part of the novel I find myself tearing up, because I am emotionally connected to Alex through her story… Once home, Alex and Miles confront her parents together, which fills in some missing pieces. Alex did have a sister Charlie who died four years earlier at the age of five.

 ”Charlie…” A knot formed in my throat.My vision blurred again. ”But… but I remeber you bringingher home from the hospital. Feeding her and taking care of her and watching her grow up and… and she always had Christmas presents under the tree, and you always set a place for her at the table… and she has to be…”      “She was real,” my mother said. Her voice had gone tight, strained in a way I’d never heard it go before. ”But she died. Four years ago”

I am reading the novel through the eyes of Alex, I truly connected with the sister bond her and Charlie had. Every part of the novel that was taken up by her interactions with her sister, how the author developed the relationship, how connected Alex and Charlie were, the bond was undeniable. To find out that Charlie was a hallucination to Alex was difficult for me to discover, so putting myself in the shoes of Alex this would be unbearable… The author really allows yourself as the reader to place yourslef in the mind of Alex, her hallucinations are so vivid, they seem so real to her that you truly get a sense of just how strong a power Schizophrenia can hold over a person. The struggle Alex faces on a daily basis because many things become her stories- not being able to decipher what is real or fake. Throughout the novel it seems as though Alex has learned to cope with her stories. She talks herself through her delusions and hallucinations, she asks for help, she takes pictures, she completes perimeter checks, food checks, she is managing her mental illness the best way she has learned how within herself. But the emotional explosion of the made up story of her sister sends shock waves through Alex; what is reality?

“Hey.” “Are you real?” I asked. “Yes I am,” he said resolutely. He pressed my hand harder to his chest. His heart beat like a drum. “I am real. This”- he put his other hand over the first- “is real.” You see me interacting with people all day long don’t you? I talk to people: I affect things in the world. I cause things to happen. I am real” “But-but what if this whole place”- I had to suck in air again- “what if everything is inside my head? East Shoal and Scarlet and this bridge and you- what if you’re not real because noting is real?” “If nothing’s real, then what does it matter?” He said. “You live here. Doesn’t that make it real enough?”

Speak Up!

With the passing of Pink Shirt Day to address bullying, it got me thinking about the part I was at in my novel. I have travelled through the journey of mental illness with Alex, and it has been a sensitive journey that was severely heightened with some serious bullying that Alex has had to deal with at her new school. Throughout the novel Alex has kept her mental illness quiet because she did not want people to judge her. This is something that unfortunately makes a lot of sense with how insensitive teenagers can be in high school… The guy Alex was crushing on but is now dating, is the only person in the high school that knew of Alex’s mental illness. That was until one of the main female bullies, Celia, in the school who was also crushing on Miles found out… As Alex started getting closer and closer to Miles (they even went on a trip together to visit Mile’s Mom who stays in a mental health facility) the bullying got worse and worse…

The Battle of the Bands –  The high school is hosting a battle of the bands fundraiser, and this is where the bullying is taken to a whole new level, as I was reading this awful situation in the novel I felt so strongly for what Alex was going through… “Excuse me, everyone?” Celia’s voice filled the gym. I jerked awake. The room went silent. “Hi,” she waved from the scorer’s table. “I just wanted to take this moment to remind everyone that all proceeds from today’s concession sales are going to benefit the American Schizophrenia Association.” Celia continues on to say “All of this is in honour of our own paranoid schizophrenic, Alexandra Ridgemont, who transferred to our school after graffitiing the Hillpark school gymnasium.” Celia turned and looked at me, along with everyone else. She waved, smiling. “Hi Alex.”

This sends Alex into a spiral, and leaves her baracading herself in the bathroom until her father comes to help her…. Bullying is something that affects many of us, and is a continuous issue in schools. For my placement I am at a Day Treatment centre for children with Mental Health issues, and anti-bullying is something that is practised every day. Campaigns like Pink Shirt Day, are such a a great way to raise awareness for the bullying that takes place in and out of schools everyday. For Alex living with Schizophrenia, and for a fellow student to exploit that, seeing it as a weakness, and an aspect of a person to bully was emotional to read. I found myself feeling much empathy for Alex, and wanting to be there to give her support. Bullying is something that has taken place for so long, and the awareness continues to take shape, but is the awareness helping? I find myself wondering is bullying getting better, or worse? Do you think there has been a change?

The Mental Health stigma…

PLOT & CHARACTER

Hey Guys! Well things sure got interesting at the party…
The short of it is, while Alex is at the party there is an altercation between her and one of the girls in her class. The guy that she is crushing on Miles, steps in to help her. Miles and a friend of his, Art, come to the aid of Alex, guiding her to safety from the altercation that had escalated. In this moment is where Alex starts having hallucinations of another Miles, in front of Miles and Art. The guys are confused, but nonetheless continue to try and help her. Throughout the delusion Alex is having confused conversations inside her head to try and coach herself through,
“He’s not real.”
“He is.”
“He’s not, he’s not.”
A cold finger brushed down her cheek.
“Then how can he touch you.”
Eventually her crush, Miles, is able to take Alex home from the party and deliver her to her mother. My heart breaks for Alex; through the character building of the mother I knew that she was not going to be happy with this. But Alex was really trying, she really was! She was a smart girl, in her senior year of high school, trying to choose a college, making friends, she was doing the best she could living with Schizophrenia.
What happened at the party, sent the mother into a spiral of hospital visits, medication, her therapist, even her dad (who travels for work) came home. The dynamics of the family are really interesting, the mother is very intense when it comes to Alex. I do understand the position of the mother, and I know that she wants to keep her safe, but reading the story from Alexs’ perspective, I am not seeing the mother in the best light. The father seems to be the peace keeper, he has a really good relationship with Alex, and in the time he is home his support and love for her is undeniable. Alex also has a little sister, she adds an interesting dynamic to the book, but the connection of the siblings is very sweet. Alex is off school for three weeks, and during that time a lot happens.
I have reached another really crucial turning point in the novel where Alex overhears a conversation between her mother and father discussing sending her to a “mental hospital” as the mother refers to it. The father is absolutely against it, and I do agree with his position. Again, my heart breaks for Alex; through reading the novel from her perspective, I can see how well she is doing and how much she is trying. The conversation between the mother and father really sets the tone of the parental relationship, it is interesting to see the dynamic between the parents, the father not thinking it is a good idea to send Alex away, and the mother thinking that it is… my thoughts here are all over the place, I can see where the mother is coming from. Day in and day out she is supporting Alex, and the father is not always home because he is travelling for work. That being said I agree with the position of the father; I do not think the best place for Alex is in a mental health hospital. The conversation between the parents also raises an interesting perspective in terms of the language used,
“So you want to hide her away? You really think that’s the best thing for her? Trying to convince her to stay in some asylum?”
The word rang in the air
“Oh, David please.” My mother’s voice lowered to a whisper.
“You know they’re not like that anymore. They’re not even called asylums. It’s a mental hospital.”
We have discussed throughout Mental Health 1, and in other classes this idea of stigma, and the language used here between the parents is the definition of stigma. For Alex to overhear this conversation placing her directly in the face of stigma by her own parents is something that is deeply hard for Alex to hear, and for the reader, I find myself emotionally connecting deeply with this novel, and for many families that are in the same position as Alex and her family,
“I hurried to the living room and curled up on the couch, drawing my blanket tightly around me. So much for feeling good. My mother had removed my intestines and used them to tie a noose around my neck.”

I will leave the readers with this quote from Alex…

Things just got interesting…

PLOT & CHARACTER

As I read on I am getting to know Alex more, and more; she is a very interesting character…

Right now she is working at a small restaurant, she has one friend that she works along side at the restaurant. Alex is leaving her public high school to start at a new private school that her mother thinks will be better for her. From what I have gathered so far in terms of how Alex lives day to day with Schizophrenia is she uses a camera in order to establish what is real, and what is delusion. Throughout the day if she is questioning her reality she will take a picture, just to ensure if what she is experiencing is real. This is something that I have found very interesting through reading the novel, and it makes a lot of sense that this is a way Alex navigates through her mental illness. Another interesting thing that Alex does throughout the day is check in with an 8-Ball to confirm or deny her reality. She will ask the 8-Ball questions, and base her understanding and perceptions from the answers the 8-Ball provides to her. An excerpt from the book of Alex consulting the 8-Ball…

“Am I crazy?”

Concentrate and ask again

“Am I crazy?”

Reply hazy try again

“Am I crazy”

Cannot predict now

This back and forth between Alex and her 8-Ball makes for an interesting dynamic in the novel, and also allows the reader to get to know Alex and how she lives through her mental illness. As mentioned in my first post, Alex has had schizophrenia since seven years old, diagnosed at twelve, that being said I find the things she has developed to navigate through each day very fascinating. Also how the author incorporates these coping strategies, is done in a way that really allows the reader to understand Alex, and what she lives with on a daily basis.

I am at the point of the novel where Alex has joined her new high school, and as the reader you get to see her interact with other students, and I am starting to learn a bit more about the dynamics of her family. How Alex carries herself in a high school environment seems pretty indicative of how many high school seniors would carry themselves. Through her internal dialogue there is a bit of struggle, but the author tends to portray that struggle in a somewhat humorous, and genuine manner. There is even a guy named Miles that Alex is starting to fall for, the interactions between Miles, and Alex is very interesting, and sweet.

As the story unfolds Alex gets invited to a high school party, which she is very up and down about attending, but in the end decides to go. A friend that she has started to build a relationship with offers her a ride, and when that friend comes to pick her up there is a quote from the novel that really stuck with me; “My mother called from the living room. Alex your friend is here! It might have been the first time she ever said those words in that order in her life.” This quote from the novel really made me feel for Alex, and relate back to my fist post of taking things for granted. My friends are so important to me, and not that I take my friends for granted, but the idea of having close long lasting friends, being able to make friends, is something that I have always been able to do. The idea of not being able to do that, is something that I have never really thought about until reading that line from the novel. Alex living with Schizophrenia, and seemingly not having many friends that are long lasting, or many friends that often come around, was an emotional thing for me to read.

As I continued to read, I have a feeling that Alex going to this party is not going to end well… this will be one of the many climaxes of this novel… Stay tuned readers..